Whaddya, you think Sir?
It was the Nose Needling Dilemma!
You know the drill. I mean both literally and metaphorically.
How many times did this happen to you as a pastoral teacher?
Background Story
You know. There was that young troubled teenage girl who looked like a supermodel. She had lost her father in some form or manner and family and societal life was difficult. Her friendships at school, sometimes had issues as well. But you did the best you could to protect her in pastoral class under the circumstances. Giving regular encouragement, you felt like you had made some solid headway.
The long-term effects though were always a little problematic, because of the loss of an affirming father. You would not always be there either. So much for the vocational support of permanency in teaching. The contract teacher educational system where permanence is hardly ever conferred exists, because you might influence the children!
Meanwhile, teenage body self-esteem, particularly with girls suffers with every passing comment and dispatched Instagram or Snapchat picture.
Incident Brewing…
By happenstance, you run into that same child two years later in a supply class, having heard some sad back stories. In this next unexpected encounter you reap a very raucous late class appearance and a questioning face shoved in your face, breaking school rules, with a “Whaddya you think, Sir?”. Actually daring you to get angry and make a scene over the telling new nose needling incision. Just to catch more attention and notoriety.
Well, what do you do? I mean no little sermon was going to help. Well for me, this time was extra hard. I was caught napping after a long six-period day with full lunch duty. I was really tired. I was also really cranky for another reason. I was not at all prepared for the occasion, and yet then again, maybe I was actually fully prepared. However, I didn’t explode, I did not want to make a scene. At least I got that right.
Unfortunate Piercing Conversation?
Looking up quizzically, trying to appear unconcerned, closer inspection led me to react with a totally spontaneous natural reaction. I just could not help it, and so blurted out:
“What’s that on your nose? It looks like a big fat “zit”? My goodness it really did. Kind of creamy coloured if anything. Sometimes the Holy Spirit works wonders.
The whole class burst out laughing, and she was deflated, but she took it on the nose, literally. Not my best moment at all, but what are you to do? Quickly trying to pour oil on troubled waters, I quickly followed up with:
“Why would you do that to such a beautiful face as yours?”
Then a response came which totally stunned me:
“Why does everyone say that about me? I don’t believe it. Maybe I ought to get a few more of them.”
Yes. I did a complete double take with that. There was stunned silence from everyone!
Shaking my head in utter disbelief, I fortunately did not mention getting a “zit cluster” which would have make it so much better. But that did cross my mind later on.
Final Thoughts on Nose Needling Dilemma
Yep. It’s the teenage supermodels that are often the most totally affected by the loss of male fatherhood affirmation.
There is just no easy solution to this one, but fatherhood affirmation is so important to all children throughout their younger years, particularly in both affirming and properly protecting the physical appearance of their daughters.
You do the best you can as a male teacher, but you know we really cannot! Society actively limits us, and yes that’s another reason why male teachers leave in droves. You cannot act as a proper fatherhood role model. That’s not the job actually. Why should we be telling girls how and when to wear ear rings etc.. The nuns were right, ban the lot until they leave school! Female teachers certainly cannot model correctly in most cases.
So ponder the importance of this quote:
1 Corinthians 6:19 “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, whom you have from God? You are not your own.”
One could have finished the conversation with that quote. Not that it would have any immediate effect, but at least it should be taught, and yes we should “ban the lot!”
Body piercings of whatever type do not promote self worth. Like untucked shirts on boys, they are a give away to deeper problems. In this case, problems with self image. How this effects future marriages is a big issue as well.
Reverse pride is perhaps the key to understanding tattoos/piercings. I am “badder than bad”, “bad to the bone”, and worse looking than anyone else etc… I control my pain by uniquely marking myself somehow. It’s overt pride in a poor self image. Reverse vanity.
These are also useful below: